i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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