The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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