how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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