Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
