Plan B is the new Plan A
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
