Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
