problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
