hotel room ftw
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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