you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
