Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
