i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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