after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize