I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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