True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
