Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize