I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
