What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
where are you?
Hypothermia
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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