I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
