So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
