I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
