well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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