Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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