you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
