Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
