i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
