hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
