Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
