The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
