what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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