this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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