I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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