So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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