So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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