oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I have aggressive nipples.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
