it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
