Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
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