i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
