why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
