either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
