John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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