Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
