It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Sorry about my life...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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