Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize