just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
