it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
