She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
