She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
