I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
