good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
