Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
