Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize
