She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
