I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
