I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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