How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
