It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
