I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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