Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
