Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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