Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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