just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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