I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize